Tag: god

October 2024: 1 Peter 1, An apostle of Jesus Christ,

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To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, 2 who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

Praise to God for a Living Hope

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have suffered grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. We should always praise our Lord. Even if we are walking through dark circumstances we know that we have an inheritance that this world can not take away from us no matter how hard others may try. Thankfully our inheritance is stored in heaven for us where no moth, rust or fire can destroy it. Peter reminds us that in this world we will have all kinds of trials. For some of us, our trials are focused on our marriage. Being married is not always easy. We are two totally different people, raised in different ways, with different hopes and goals for our future. That alone is just the tip of the iceberg on the mountain of problems that we can face in our marriage. Sometimes when I take a look at other marriages and the struggles they go through, it makes me rethink the significance of my own problems in our marriage. When I look at how some marriages struggle with addiction to porn, actions from their past that come back to haunt them, or how they have suffered devastating heartbreak. But Peter says no matter what we suffer, big or small, it is to refine our faith, and by that, we show Jesus honor and glory. Jesus doesn’t cause bad things to happen in our lives just so that He can get the glory. Bad things happen in our lives because we live in a sinful and fallen world. We unlike Jesus do not live sinless lives. We are bound to sin no matter how much we try not to. Why? Because we are all sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, the sin curse was placed on them and every generation to follow. Even creation itself bears the curse of sin. We have weeds and pests that destroy crops, animals by the hundreds that can kill us easily and plenty of food that can and does make us sick. Sin is all around us and there is no way for us to escape it until we are in heaven. Peter says that these trials happen to us so that our faith is tested. We need to prove to God and ourselves how genuine our love for the Lord really is. If you encounter one bump in the road and then you ditch Jesus for something better, obviously your faith was only on the inside. There was no changed heart. You were only honoring him with your lips for the approval of man. I’m sure we all know people like that. They look like the perfect Christian on the outside but as soon as trials hit them, they bail. Maybe they just liked having Christian friends or they liked the people at church rather than at work, but no matter what the reason, their true intentions will show at some point in time. Then you have the others who it seems like no matter what life throws at them, no matter how bad the hurt, they keep praising Jesus. Sometimes Jesus is all we have at the end of the day. We may lose our friends, family, jobs, and house and all that’s left is you and Jesus. But He is all that you need, and He is the only one who can rebuild your life. Sometimes when it is just you and Jesus left standing, you realize how much you need Him, love Him, and completely trust and worship Him. You also see how much He loves you – in case you forgot about the cross – but you get to see His love in a very real way in your own life. Some people need big tragedies and trials to see it while others don’t. Either way, that overwhelming sense of love that you have for Jesus is expressed with praise and honor. I mean how else do you show the God of this world how much you love Him? Don’t let trials get you down, this may be the time when you feel closest and most loved by God.

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11 trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of the Messiah and the glories that would follow. 12 It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

If you are like me, you read the New Testament and think about how lucky the apostles were to be side by side with Jesus for three years. They ate with him, drank with him, and witnessed miracles firsthand. I know how I feel just reading about the miracles, I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I saw one right before my very eyes. Even though we can look back at that point in time and think how lucky they were to be there with Jesus, many of the prophets and Old Testament people thought that we, the people on the other side of the cross, were the lucky ones. If you think about it, we have a perfect 20/20 hindsight vision of everything from the dawn of time and seeing scripture unfold through history, fulfilling proficay after proficy. Peter tells us that even the angels get excited about our salvation, and if angels love to look at the work of God in saving sinners like us, how much more should we who are the very beneficiaries of that salvation (not just onlookers) love to look into it and be thankful for it. When was the last time you thought about your salvation? The price it cost, the love it took, you know…all of it. It’s something as Christians that we think about when we get saved but not a whole lot after that. Sometimes we don’t want to think about it. There is so much emotion wrapped up in the cross and our salvation that it makes me ugly cry every time. As believers, I think it is good for us to take a step back and consider our salvation, to just really evaluate our lives, and how we are living out God’s calling on our lives. Most people around the age of 40-50 go through some sort of mid-life crisis. They realize that their time here on this earth is running out and most of the time they think about all the things they haven’t gotten to do or experience. Sometimes this involves sports cars or career changes. But when if we did a salvation mid-life crisis. What if we sat down and asked the hard questions? How am I doing at my job for God? Am I preaching the gospel, am I telling people about Jesus, does my behavior model that of our savior? It’s so easy for us to get comfortable with how things are going that we don’t stretch ourselves and flex our spiritual muscles. This can be a really good exercise for couples to do together. Discuss what you are doing well and what needs to be improved upon in your spiritual life with your spouse. Don’t be too hard on yourselves, not everyone is able to or needs to sell everything and move to a foreign land and become missionaries. You can be an amazing missionary to your family, friends, and co-workers right where you are but growth nonetheless is needed.

13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy because I am holy.”

As a child, I couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult. I couldn’t wait until I could make my own rules, and do what I wanted when I wanted. Then you grow up to be an adult and you realize that you can do whatever you want but there are consequences for everything. Then when you get saved you become a child again, a child of God this time. God expects us to be obedient to Him, our heavenly father. We are told not to conform to our evil desires. From birth, we have certain ways that we act. At first, they are for self-preservation but then later they develop into more complex emotions and behaviors. As a baby, which is at the mercy of the world around it (and its own needs), we really have no ego to speak of until we begin to differentiate ourselves from our caregivers and the demands of the outer environment. Then as we grow to become toddlers, we become impulsive, driven by our emotions, including sexual and aggressive drives, and interpret caregiver responses in black-and-white terms as either being ”nice to me” or ”mean to me.” The world is ”good” if it meets my needs and ”bad” if it doesn’t. As small children, we are only able to focus on present events rather than being caught up in the past or future. As children, we are very selfish. It isn’t until we grow and mature that we start to consider others, start to consider how our current actions will affect our future, and so forth. The same should be true as we grow and mature as Christians. We are called to be sober-minded and act in holy ways because now our heavenly father is Holy, unlike our earthly fathers. He wants us to stand out so that when others see us, they can immediately recognize who our father is. This also includes acting holy even when things are difficult with your spouse. Your spouse is also a child of God and even the times when he is not acting holy, you still need to do so.

17 Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. 18 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21 Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. 22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24 For,

“All people are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

25 but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word that was preached to you.

Have you ever thought about how truly short our time on this earth is. Sometimes that thought is just so deep it’s hard to grasp or understand. The thought of dying someday can feel overwhelming and very scary, but as born-again Christians, we know that our physical lives will end but then we go on to spend eternity with Jesus in heaven. We have been reborn again with an imperishable seed so when our body withers away and eventually dies, our soul lives on forever. But what about the time that we have here on this Earth? Peter tells us we have been purified and that we are to obey God so we can have sincere love for one another. But what does it mean to have sincere love for others? Sincere love is not something we are used to here in our sin-cursed world. Most of the time we love people when they make us feel good, but what about those who are difficult to be around and therefore difficult to love? In this world, people will not keep you happy 100% of the time. This is why you need to learn to love them even when they seem to be unlovable.

When we hear of people getting divorced and we ask them what the issues were, inevitably you will hear one of the reasons be, “I’m just not happy anymore”. I do not dismiss that some people have incredibly difficult marriages and circumstances that they live through, but we are called to stay married until death do us part, not until our happiness fades. Your spouse is the one person on planet Earth who should love you unconditionally. Unfortunately, we don’t know what unconditional love looks like. Only God truly understands that kind of love. As we walk and grow in our relationship with Jesus, we should grow in our marriages and understand that love is just more than having lustful feelings or being happy 24/7. Love means sticking by your spouse no matter what he may be walking through. Life gets tough and hard but if you throw in the towel every time that happens, you are cheating yourself and others from valuable learning experiences. I don’t know about you but I learn the most and grow closer to God when I am going through trials. Sincere love is all about sticking by your spouse, comforting him, and praying for him and with him. Unbelievers walk away from their marriages. If you claim to be a Christian then you need to stick by your spouse instead of walking away. Walking away is easy but if God wanted us to have easy lives, He would fix all the problems in our lives the instant we were born again. We know that He does not spare us from the trials of this life. He is testing our faith and seeing if our actions line up with our behavior. What does your behavior say about you??

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A New Beginning

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Welcome back, friends. I wanted to share with you how things are going to be changing around here at 2 Lives 1 Flesh. I was starting to feel like the topics I was talking about surrounding marriage were getting a little repetitive and none of us have time for that. What I also found missing out on my own personal bible study time, was a focused and thorough exploration of different books of the bible. So I decided to do a monthly bible study where we will go through different books of the Bible and talk about what it looks like to grow in Christ and to grow in our marriages. I will try to always point things back to how a topic can affect your marriage. These will be longer studies than my weekly blogs, and they will be posted on the first Wednesday of every month, but I am hoping you guys will like them and get some good Bible knowledge in the process. Please let me know how you like things and if you have certain books you would like me to cover. I will be starting off with 1 Peter. I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks next week.

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Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger

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God made every single one of us different and unique. With that, we differ in the way that we handle our emotions, especially our anger. When two people with different personalities, preferences, and quirks live together, they’re bound to become irritated or angry sometimes. However, anger can be different in each marriage based on how it’s expressed and managed. People often learn to disguise their anger and deal with it through masking behaviors such as gritting their teeth. The other extreme is allowing anger to escalate to flat-out rage. And as we learn in the Bible, anger is not in itself bad, Jesus had righteous anger. Most famously, Jesus became angry in the temple when religious profiteers were exploiting people. In response to the regular injustice being practiced, Jesus made a whip and overturned tables. But as we have all come to notice, we are certainly not Jesus and so we need to manage our emotions appropriately. God gave us a heart and a brain — emotions and logic. Both are necessary and affect our decision-making and worldview. Anger itself isn’t the problem. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. We have to find Biblical ways of handling our anger without holding our anger inside and becoming passive-aggressive behaviors or just openly and uncontrollably venting our emotions

Anger and other negative emotions can have an impact on our marriage, that is why we must figure out how to control those emotions with the instructions from the Bible. God tells us, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4: 29-32. We are told to get rid of bitterness and anger and instead be compassionate and forgiving. If we stay focused on all the things that we have been forgiven of, it makes forgiving our spouse a lot easier. The only one who was perfect was Jesus, the rest of us all fall short on an hourly basis, so forgive your spouse and help them to forgive you. A world without forgiveness is not a world many of us want to be a part of.

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Honesty Is Key

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We are told not to keep secrets from our spouses and not to lie to them. But being honest with your spouse is a little more complicated than just communication that is free from lies. Sometimes you can be too honest with your spouse. Being honest with them does not mean saying the first thing that pops into your head, nor does it mean getting something off your chest. When you are being honest with your spouse you need to do so in a way that reflects God’s love, and that means giving the right information in the right way. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:25-27. Sometimes as the years tick by in our marriage we start to lose the ability we lose the ability to share important information with our spouse. We stop coordinating our lives and spending quality time together. This is why you often hear people say that they have just drifted apart. Honest communication is the glue that holds every relationship together. Some couples have mastered the art of honesty in marriage, but they have no concept of tenderness. Nagging, criticism, and sarcasm are offered freely without a second thought about how they might be received. In a couple’s dogged pursuit of honesty, they might use words that tear each other down rather than build each other up.

When you commit to being honest with your spouse that means being completely transparent with him and having nothing to hide from each other, being totally vulnerable with each other can be scary at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And it can transform your marriage into a safe, sweet, and most intimate relationship. Words can draw us closer to each other, or they can drive us further apart. Try to eliminate criticism, profanity, and little white lies (like “I’m fine”) from your vocabulary. Instead, speak the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15. As a loving spouse, you need to speak the truth wrapped in tenderness and grace, even when it may be difficult to hear or say. Tenderhearted transparency is an often-overlooked secret to lifelong love that requires the courage to confess our sins and shortcomings to each other without judgment, and the grace to offer and receive forgiveness. It also means refusing to keep score of one another’s faults. As you practice tenderhearted transparency and honesty in your marriage — being vulnerable with each other, speaking the truth in love, and giving one another grace, forgiveness, and encouragement — you’ll be amazed at the difference this will make in your relationship.

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Slow to Anger

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Have you ever felt guilty about the anger that you have shown towards your spouse? I know if you are like me there are too many to count. Anger, irritation, and frustration can all lead us to act in ways that are unbiblical and not pleasing to God. But how do you get around these emotions without acting like a fool? The Bible tells us to rid ourselves of all of them: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene speech from your mouth. Colossians 3:8. In the bible we see many examples of how being angry can cause us to sin. When we look back at why Cain killed Abel, it was because Abel’s sacrifice was pleasing to God and he became angry over that. King Saul tried to kill David because of anger, the same thing happened to the Pharacies killing Jesus. Anger starts us off on the fast track to sin. In the story of Cain and Abel, the Lord tells Cain how he needs to respond. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why is your face gloomy? If you do well, will your face not be cheerful? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Genesis 4: 6-7. God tells us to master our emotions, especially anger before it gets the best of us.

Even God gets angry but His anger is a righteous anger. But He, being compassionate, forgave their wrongdoing and did not destroy them; And often He restrained His anger and did not stir up all His wrath. Psalm 78:38. God shows us that our emotions can be controlled and restrained even when we are angry for the right reasons. The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. Psalm 103: 8-10. Not only does God restrain His anger, but He is also “abounding in steadfast love.” He never ever runs out of a love that never, ever waivers. When I think about God’s holy, set apart, transcendent nature in light of my struggle against sin, it is the best news that God is not only patiently withholding anger, but He is eager to lavish us with His love. Instead of dealing with our anger towards our spouses why don’t we put aside the anger, put on love, and let God deal with our husbands in the way that only He can. We know if there is discipline that needs to happen, His discipline is perfect. And when you need love and forgiveness, God has got that covered too.

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Out Of The Heart, The Mouth Speaks

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But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those things defile the person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, acts of adultery, other immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, and slanderous statements. Matthew 15:18-19. The heart is where we first commit sin. It is where ideas brew and grow, eventually causing us to take action towards that sin. The more we dwell on sinful thoughts and feelings, the more likely we are to act upon them. Even our modern-day psychiatry understands that thinking negative things can have dangerous consequences. Negativity is often a product of depression or insecurity. It can stem from illness, life events, personality problems, and substance abuse. Like many things in life, negativity too, can become a habit. Frequent criticism, cynical thoughts, and denial can encourage sadness. These negative tendencies can cause our brain to distort the truth and make it even more difficult to break the negative cycle. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, those emotions build up in our hearts tempting us to want to act out in sin. The mind is a powerful thing and what you feed can affect it in a powerful way. Breaking the cycle of sinful and intrusive thoughts is very difficult but it can be done. Remember, God knows all the challenges we face in this world, that’s why he gives us the Bible full of good advice on how to conquer any problem that comes our way.

The Bible tells us, that the best way to get rid of sinful and intrusive thoughts, is to fill our minds and our hearts with God’s word. We are reminded in the Bible just how sinful we truly are and how easy it is for us to fall into sinful ways, but God gives us plenty of ways to help combat sin. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 God tells us that, Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. When you love your spouse, these character traits should reign supreme. While they can get under our skin and cause us frustration, we are called in turn to respond in love. Paul also reminds us, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7. What I love more than anything in this verse is that if we pray, are thankful, and let God know what is on our hearts, He will guard our hearts and our minds. Sometimes the only way that you get around negative thoughts, is to have the power of God on your side. I don’t know about you, but I need all the help from God I can get. I have no power on my own to fight all the sinful things of this world. That is why Jesus came and died for us on the cross because we can do nothing without Him.

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Submissive Like Christ

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Submission has turned into a nasty word over the last century. Thanks to feminism, submission has become letting husbands rule and dominate us and we have no say or opinion. Unfortunately, we don’t think of submission any other way because we don’t understand what healthy submission looks like. The good news is that we don’t need to look too far or too hard to see a perfect example of submission. In Philippians 2:8 we are told, And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross. Christ was submissive and obedient to God the Father because He knew God’s will was needed for the salvation of humanity. Jesus was even submissive to God when the two are considered to be equals. You will notice there was no power struggle between the two of them, even during Christ’s life here on earth. Sure our husbands can predict the future, nor do they always act with the purest of intentions, but we are still called to submit. If you feel like your husband’s leadership is not biblical, seek God in prayer and then approach your husband with gentleness and humility.

Did you know being submissive to your husband can make you more beautiful? You heard me right. The Bible tells us, In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands. 1 Peter 3:1-5 Our beauty runs deeper than just how we look on the outside. As someone who has lived over four decades, I can tell you that your beauty will fade, your skin will sag, and things that you tolerated well in your past, do not mean you will accept them well as you age. Your husband should not only be attracted to your physical beauty but also the beauty of your spirit. Your spirit should become more beautiful every year as your relationship with the Lord grows and gets stronger. We can only have spiritual growth and spiritual beauty when our bond with God deepens and, learn to love Him and trust Him fully. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30. When we fear the Lord, we are obedient to him and obedience and submission go hand in hand. Love God by obeying His word and being the wife He intended you to be.

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If Your Brother Sins, Rebuke Him

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In keeping with the theme from last week about responding biblically to your spouse, this week we will talk about how to handle a situation when your spouse is acting in a way that is outside God’s law. As Christians, we are obligated not to turn a blind eye to sin no matter who that is. Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Luke 17:3. Doing this is not to boast or to find delight in someone else flaws, but to help them restore their relationship with God. Please don’t also rebuke your spouse for every sin he commits. I’m sure you wouldn’t want him doing the same to you. When we rebuke someone it’s because their sin is causing a wedge in their relationship with God. And subject yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:21. Not only is it ok for a wife to rebuke her husband, but it is expected. She is God’s gift to her husband to help him draw closer to the Lord and encourages his faithful living. If he is drifting away from the Lord and falling into sin, the chances of him leading his family astray are pretty high as well. This rebuking should be done with humility and in love. Anything other than that is sinful on the wife’s part. A wife should first examine her own heart when approaching her husband with his sin. The purpose of her reproach should be to restore her husband to God, not to expose him or pour guilt upon him.

There may be other times when your husband acts foolishly or has foolish and unreasonable demands for you. The Bible is very clear about how to respond to these types of situations. Do not answer a fool according to his foolishness, Or you will also be like him. Proverbs 26:4. This means we do retaliate with anger, harsh words, clamming up, or returning evil for evil. As a wife, you must learn how to respond to your husband’s foolishness in a God-honoring way. Many times throughout Jesus’ ministry, we see him asking people why they are responding to Him in a certain way. In the book of John, we see Jesus respond to the high priest in this manner. Jesus answered him, “I have spoken openly to the world; I always taught in synagogues and in the temple area, where all the Jews congregate; and I said nothing in secret. Why are you asking Me? Ask those who have heard what I spoke to them. Look: these people know what I said.”John 18:20-21. However when we take Jesus’ approach, we must remember that we are not sinless like Jesus but instead sinful, so be prepared to get some kickback from your spouse. No matter what we need to say to our spouses we must remember that the word of God is our most valuable tool. With this tool, we should be gentle and have a quiet manner, while also maintaining a submissive attitude. Confronting your spouse is hard but is necessary. Do it in prayer and careful consideration and always in love.

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The Non-Believing Husband

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What about those of us who are not married to believing husbands? Do we still have to submit to them? So many good practical questions, because let’s face it, we are not all married to the ideal man. The one who is a strong Christian, leading his family. Sometimes our husbands are still in that growing process and that’s ok, we just need to help and support them through it. When we turn to our bibles for the answers to some of these hard questions, Peter makes it pretty clear how wives are to behave. In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. 1 Peter 3:1-2. The phrase disobedient to the word is another way of saying unbeliever. It is still the wife’s responsibility to live a Godly life and respond to her husband with love and respect. She should not expect him to think or act like a Christian, because he is not. Instead, she is to love, respect, and godly behavior in the hopes of softening his heart and winning him over to the Lord by her actions, not by her words. Even though the husband has God-given authority over his wife, she is only to obey him if what he is asking does not contradict God’s word. But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. Acts 5:29. Some examples of this are: Don’t correct me, don’t point out my sins, don’t go to church, or don’t teach the children about God. These are clear and obvious examples of when the wife is to submit to the Lord rather than her husband.

Peter reminds us, it is our pure and respectful behavior that will win our unbelieving spouses to the Lord, not our nagging, crying, or pouting. Our first obligation is to love the Lord with all our hearts. He is our father and He should always remain in first place in our lives. Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will follow My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our dwelling with him. John 14:23. Most people find God-honoring qualities to be attractive in a mate. Think about what Paul says in the letter to the Corinthians. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:5-6. What spouse is not going to love the fact that you don’t keep a record of everything he has messed up on? Ultimately you are to be a shining light for God and be an example to him so that he wants to become a Christian. So even if you have an unbelieving spouse, you are still to obey him as long as what he is asking you to do, does not make you sin against God. God should always be your first love.

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Respect

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to mean. What Aretha failed to mention is finding out what it looks like for a wife to be respectful of her husband. Respect needs to be a two-way street but it starts with the wife. Being disrespectful first started in the garden and look how well that has turned out for all mankind. Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33. Respecting your husband is not an option. If you wish to follow the will of God then it is something that must be done. The Greek word for respect is phobeo, when translated to English it means to be in awe of or to give special treatment. When was the last time you were in awe of your husband? Your husband has been given authority over your family, to lead and guide them down the right path, the path that God has set before him. As a respectful wife, we not only have to be respectful on the outside but also have a heart and attitude that matches. Being respectful does not mean you can’t have your own opinion or concerns. What it does mean is at the end of the day, what your husband has decided will be and you are to loving and respectfully follow his lead. He should not have to drag you kicking and screaming, nor should you go running off to your friends telling everyone how much you hate this new decision and wish things could go back to the way they were

A disrespectful wife is not always easy to spot. Sure we understand to not make fun of or criticize especially around others, but being respectful is more encompassing than that. Disrespect can also come in the forms of being short with your husband, irritable, or impatient. And let’s not forget that look that we give him that says, “Say or do one more thing, I dare you.” Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29. So now that 100% of us have sinned against God and been disrespectful to our spouses, we should probably look at some more encouraging things like what being respectful looks like. Be especially cautious with your words, tone of voice, and body language towards your spouse. If you need help in that area, as we all do, ask your husband to point out these areas to you, in a loving manner of course. Do not preach to your husband when he makes a mistake, instead pray for him. Don’t delight in his failures or shortcomings, instead grieve with him that things did not turn out the way he had hoped. Remember your husband is trying his best to lead his family in a way that is honoring to God. You scolding him or rejoicing in his failures only puts a wedge between you and him. Be encouraging to your spouse, build him up whenever possible, and remember how many times you fail and how God does not rejoice or say I told you so when that does happen. 

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