God made every single one of us different and unique. With that, we differ in the way that we handle our emotions, especially our anger. When two people with different personalities, preferences, and quirks live together, they’re bound to become irritated or angry sometimes. However, anger can be different in each marriage based on how it’s expressed and managed. People often learn to disguise their anger and deal with it through masking behaviors such as gritting their teeth. The other extreme is allowing anger to escalate to flat-out rage. And as we learn in the Bible, anger is not in itself bad, Jesus had righteous anger. Most famously, Jesus became angry in the temple when religious profiteers were exploiting people. In response to the regular injustice being practiced, Jesus made a whip and overturned tables. But as we have all come to notice, we are certainly not Jesus and so we need to manage our emotions appropriately. God gave us a heart and a brain — emotions and logic. Both are necessary and affect our decision-making and worldview. Anger itself isn’t the problem. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. We have to find Biblical ways of handling our anger without holding our anger inside and becoming passive-aggressive behaviors or just openly and uncontrollably venting our emotions

Anger and other negative emotions can have an impact on our marriage, that is why we must figure out how to control those emotions with the instructions from the Bible. God tells us, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4: 29-32. We are told to get rid of bitterness and anger and instead be compassionate and forgiving. If we stay focused on all the things that we have been forgiven of, it makes forgiving our spouse a lot easier. The only one who was perfect was Jesus, the rest of us all fall short on an hourly basis, so forgive your spouse and help them to forgive you. A world without forgiveness is not a world many of us want to be a part of.


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