Love Is…

We all have certain ways of thinking about love and what that looks like. Most of the time we don’t have a clue what true love really looks like. This is why we should turn to Jesus as our perfect example of what love is and how it is put into action. We often think that love is synonymous with happiness. That is someone who makes you happy and pulls out all the stops to keep you that way, that must be love. Depending on your husband to keep you happy so that you will stay in love with him is not only and inaccurate description of love but is also very shallow and fleeting. Imagine worrying every time your spouse got mad at you, that somehow that love would cease with his emotions. This can lead us down a dangerous path of needing to please people constantly and making our spouses into idols. If we never want them angry then he might not love me anymore and he will leave, turning him into a god who must be worshiped and kept happy all the time. Sometimes we suffer in our marriages because we build up these false expectations of love and marriage that keep us building the ladder to heaven. They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.” Genesis 11:3-4. We all have different reasons for wanting to build our tower that reaches heaven. Sometimes we think, that once we get to heaven things will be safe and secure or that our trouble will be gone if we could just run up the tower at any point and have direct access to God.

I don’t know about you but I am so glad that love does look like all the ways we imagine it to be. Jesus showed us what love looks like all throughout his ministry. His love did not always include making people happy. Think about when Lazarus died, Jesus stayed away an extra two days, and then when He did get to town, everyone was upset, thinking He was too late. “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. John 11:21. Jesus delayed His coming to Lazarus because He loved them and because He needed to show them the glory of God. Even when Jesus would heal people and perform miracles for them, they still hated Him. Then they brought him a demon-possessed man who was blind and mute, and Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see. All the people were astonished and said, “Could this be the Son of David?” But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, “It is only by Beelzebul, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons.” Matthew 12:22-24. And of course, there was the best act of love in history with Jesus dying on the cross so that we could be in heaven with Him. These acts of love did not make people feel all warm and fuzzy inside, nor did it make them happy all the time. Love is acting in a way that is honoring to God, compassionate, and self-sacrificing. Let’s redefine love with Jesus’ definition, not our own.