The Non-Believing Husband

What about those of us who are not married to believing husbands? Do we still have to submit to them? So many good practical questions, because let’s face it, we are not all married to the ideal man. The one who is a strong Christian, leading his family. Sometimes our husbands are still in that growing process and that’s ok, we just need to help and support them through it. When we turn to our bibles for the answers to some of these hard questions, Peter makes it pretty clear how wives are to behave. In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. 1 Peter 3:1-2. The phrase disobedient to the word is another way of saying unbeliever. It is still the wife’s responsibility to live a Godly life and respond to her husband with love and respect. She should not expect him to think or act like a Christian, because he is not. Instead, she is to love, respect, and godly behavior in the hopes of softening his heart and winning him over to the Lord by her actions, not by her words. Even though the husband has God-given authority over his wife, she is only to obey him if what he is asking does not contradict God’s word. But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. Acts 5:29. Some examples of this are: Don’t correct me, don’t point out my sins, don’t go to church, or don’t teach the children about God. These are clear and obvious examples of when the wife is to submit to the Lord rather than her husband.

Peter reminds us, it is our pure and respectful behavior that will win our unbelieving spouses to the Lord, not our nagging, crying, or pouting. Our first obligation is to love the Lord with all our hearts. He is our father and He should always remain in first place in our lives. Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will follow My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our dwelling with him. John 14:23. Most people find God-honoring qualities to be attractive in a mate. Think about what Paul says in the letter to the Corinthians. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:5-6. What spouse is not going to love the fact that you don’t keep a record of everything he has messed up on? Ultimately you are to be a shining light for God and be an example to him so that he wants to become a Christian. So even if you have an unbelieving spouse, you are still to obey him as long as what he is asking you to do, does not make you sin against God. God should always be your first love.