Insecurity

In America, we have an extremely competitive culture. We are constantly measuring ourselves against others. Am I skinnier than her? Do we make more money than our friends? How many vacations can we afford to go on this year? Yes, we are always trying to one-up and outdo one another constantly. However, this drive for competitiveness can also be very damaging in our marriage. Many husbands have insecurities about not being a good enough provider for their families. After all that is their God-given role as head of the household. So if we are constantly pointing out to them how much bigger our friend’s house is or how many vacations they go, over time those comments start to chip away at your husband’s confidence in his role as provider. Remember that none of us are perfect, we are all flawed and we will all make mistakes. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8-9. Thankfully God loved us in spite of all of our flaws and we should extend the same love to our spouse. Help him embrace his weaknesses while also acknowledging the gifts God has given him to fulfill His purpose in your spouse’s life. The good news? Much like a destructive belief, a healed identity will spread into every area of your life and marriage. Imagine what your marriage would be like void of doubts, comparisons, and the dark cloud of inadequacy.

What if you are the one with the inadequacy issues? All my other friends are much prettier and thinner than I am, how do I deal with that? If you struggle with self-worth, begin your journey to relinquish your insecurities. You likely have negative thoughts like I’m not good enough. I’m such a failure. I’m fat. I’m worthless. These thoughts rob you of joy and damage your marriage. Thinking this way only devalues our relationship with God. We can all too easily forget that we are children of God, and God would never think those terrible things about his own children. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18. Everyone has an internal dialogue that no one else hears. If you rehearse and repeat thoughts that you’re not good enough, you’ll feel anxiety, anger, jealousy, or depression. Consider how destructive thoughts have affected your emotions, and think about how personal insecurities have trickled into your marriage. Imagine what your marriage would be like void of doubts, comparisons, and the dark cloud of inadequacy. Focus on complimenting your spouse for all the good he does. Focus on the good and not the bad.