Leaving Your Parents

Why are there so many unhappy and unfulfilling marriages these days even among Christians? It’s most likely because we do not follow God’s blueprint for a marriage. In the book of Genesis, we see that right after God makes woman from Adams flesh, His first command to them is to leave their parents. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. Since this is the first order of business from God, it is most likely pretty important, but what does it look like for us? As a child, we are instructed to honor and obey our parents. We look to them for wise Godly counsel, they give us rules to follow and consequences when they are not. It is their obligation to provide food and shelter. We spend a great deal of time under our parent’s roof, obeying their rules, etc. This can often lead to grown children feeling that they still need to please their parents. We still want to make sure that they approve of our spouse, our job choices, where we live, etc. But once we are married that dynamic changes drastically. After marriage our first loyalty should still remain with God, our spouse becomes second in line and then parents fall into third place. We must be more willing to do what makes our spouse happy rather than our parents. For those of us who always try to please people (me) this can be quite the challenge.

Once married, a husband and wife commit themselves to one another and promise to take full responsibility for their marriage despite what problems may arise during that relationship. Jesus reminds the Pharisees of this when they start questioning Him about divorce. He tells them, But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. ’‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:6-9. In many ways getting married is like becoming a Christian. We leave our old ways behind and make a personal commitment to the Lord that we will follow in His ways no matter how bad things on this Earth get. The path of being a Christian is never easy, nor is being married. In both situations we are required to put others before ourselves, we are asked to sacrifice things that we love or want, and we definitely don’t always get our way. However, we are promised that if we remain faithful and finish the race, our reward will be great. Sometimes we won’t get to see those rewards while we are here on Earth, but I promise you, any reward from God is going to surpass any difficulties we endure in this life. So finish the race, my friends, whether it’s in your Christian walk or in your marriage, God is waiting for you at the finish line.