Our True Enemy

Our true enemy we often think is our spouse, after all, he is the one constantly sinning against us. But why when our spouse sins against us, do we automatically become the judge, prosecutor, court recorder, and jury? We become self-righteous and could never imagine committing such a grievous sin ourselves. We begin to mentally assign a motive to the crime and leave no room for the defendant – our spouse – to plead his case before an unbiased jury. Have you ever said the words to your spouse, “I don’t deserve this” or “How could you think of doing such a thing?” I know I have. We immediately act as if never in a million years would I, miss self-righteousness, commit a sin so bad as that one. Our self-righteous attitudes and behaviors can become a cancer in our marriage and if not handled appropriately will lead to the death of a marriage. Jesus warns us about becoming self righteous. He tells us that to some who were confident of their righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:9-14.

Even though we have all caught ourselves being self-righteous, the good news is that mercy triumphs over all. because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment. James 2:13. This is not only true for our relationship with our spouses but also our relationship with God. If you think your spouse sins against you frequently, think about how frequently you sin against God. God extends so much kindness and mercy to us, especially when we don’t deserve it, but He also uses our weaknesses to help grow and strengthen us in our Christian walks. Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? We have been speaking in the sight of God as those in Christ; and everything we do, dear friends, is for your strengthening. 2 Corinthians 12:19. Let’s use God’s words and examples to help build up our spouse, encourage them in the way of the Lord, and strengthen them where they are weak. Grant mercy and forgiveness to your spouse just as God grants them to you.