Leaving and Cleaving

When we look at the biblical record, we find that after the creation of the universe, God establishes marriage. Adam and Eve were the first husband and wife and God establishes their marriage based on a covenant promise between Him and them. The act of marriage consisted of three things: leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh.

“At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,

and flesh from my flesh!

She will be called ‘woman,’

because she was taken from ‘man.’”

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Genesis 2:23-24.

So why does God ask men to leave their fathers and mother and cling to their new wives? This is part of a symbol of manhood. These men must leave the shelter of their parents and start learning ways to provide for themselves. No longer are these men under their parent’s authority, supervision, or provision. They now make their own decisions, are responsible to provide for themselves financially, and are no longer under the obligation of obedience that characterized their relationship as young children. Some parents can still hold significant emotional sway over their adult children and may even contribute to major decisions, including career decisions and romantic interests. Many young men have not separated themselves from their parents and thus are not yet ready to be married. Before they can get married and manage a family they need to learn how to break away from clinging to their parents and instead use the wisdom from their parents to start leading their own lives.

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Matthew 19:4-6

Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is the ultimate fulfillment of the “one flesh” principle found in Genesis 2:24. While consummation closes the wedding, it also marks the beginning of the marriage. The “two becoming one” The two are to be so knit together that they behave as one person. While they are two separate people, this “one flesh” union makes them one, together. Consummation marks the end of the old individual life and the start of the “one flesh” union that will continue through marriage for the couple. Therefore, if the couple is biologically able to consummate the marriage, this should be the final seal of the wedding.

In Hebrews 13:4 it says, “Marriage is honorable.” It’s clear that God wants us to aspire to holy matrimony because it is ordained by God. Marriage is a covenant and that God is involved, in fact, God is even a witness to the married couple. Marriage is important to Him.