What’s Damaging Your Marriage?

Alcohol 

Even though alcohol is legal, that doesn’t make it a wise choice. We hear many times in the bible about getting drunk. Noah got drunk and was found laying naked in his tent. Habakkuk warns those who gives drink to his neighbors until they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies. Many good-intentioned men did terrible things while they were under the influence. Especially when Lot’s two daughters got him drunk so they could lay with him. Many Christian homes are torn apart by alcohol abuse. I know many of you will point out that drinking itself is not a sin, and in fact, Jesus’s first miracle was turning water into wine. While I will agree with your point, I would ask, how many of you know that point of when drinking alcohol falls into being drunk? How many of you can resist peer pressure when you are out with friends to not have just one more? Can you stop drinking when it goes from being a habit to an addiction? But once a person is addicted to a substance, his body craves it and he often will lie, steal, or worse to get that substance. See how this habit can take on a life of its own, without you even noticing it? The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21. So while there is no law against drinking alcohol, I would ask you, what good situations have come from drinking?

Poor communication 

How many arguments have you and your spouse had because of poor communication? If you are like me and my husband, we have had a lot. Maybe that’s why the Bible focuses so much on how to communicate with others, especially our spouses. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21. This is why before you speak, you should ask yourself, “Will my words be pleasing to the Lord Jesus Christ?” And, “Are my words both truthful and loving?” To blast your spouse because “that’s just how I feel,” may be truthful, but it’s not loving. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Ephesians 4:15. Another tip is to ask yourself, what good will come from what I am about to say? If you can’t think of anything positive, it’s probably best left unsaid. As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19 

While we need to weigh our words, we should also be honest about how we feel. To be dishonest about how you feel or not to say anything to avoid conflict may seem loving, but it’s not truthful and will lead to long-term distance in the relationship. So choose your words carefully and lovingly. Pray before you speak and ask God to help you with your word