Building Each Other Up

Dont Judge

How easy it is for us to look at our spouse and think, the way you’re doing that is all wrong. How easy it is for us to think that we are the righteous one in the relationship and all eyes should be upon us as the Christian role model. But Paul calls us to focus on our own faults. God doesn’t want us concerned about what other people are doing or how they are performing. When Jesus tells his disciples the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, the Pharisee was confident in his own righteousness and from that proud position judged the tax collector; however, God sees the heart and refused to forgive the Pharisee’s sin. God knows our hearts and how we feel. When we become proud and boastful, God is not fooled by our fake smiles and happy telephone voices.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,

‘every knee will bow before me;

 every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. Romans 14: 10-13.

There needs to be unity not only with the body of believers but also with our families in our day-to-day lives. Passing judgment on others will only cause divides in our relationships. Hypocritical judgment is wrong and Jesus warns us against doing such. When we point out the sin of others while we ourselves commit the same sin, we condemn ourselves. It is easy to forget our own faults and flaws, but let’s try to remember that we are not always 100% delightful.

Building Others Up

Leading the family is a very difficult and very serious job. It often comes too easy for a wife to criticize her husband on the decisions that he is making regarding the family. Unfortunately, we don’t see the destruction that we are doing to our husbands and to our marriage relationship when we do those kinds of things. If the husband and wife are strong separately, they will be even more strong when they are unified regarding their family. Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14: 19. As spouses and hopefully brothers and sisters in Christ, we are expected to help each other grow in our faith. Sometimes that growth needs further encouragement to keep going, but sometimes it means reproving when we go astray. Edification can be a very tricky and delicate task. Edification is best approached out of love, and certainly not when feelings are hurt and emotions are high.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29. By building up your husband as an individual, he will have a greater contribution to your family and to your marriage. Some might think that they do not tear down their spouses, and that’s true. You may not say things out loud but sometimes it is what we don’t say that does the greatest damage. There is no neutral ground. You are either in the process of building up your husband, or you are in the process of tearing him down. How do you want your spouse to treat you?